Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
