his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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