Who wears a wallet chain?!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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