By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
