We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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