white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Enjoy the penises
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
