I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
