Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
