? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
