Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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