Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
