I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize