My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
