So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
