Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
