i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize