im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
