he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
