I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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