My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
