I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
ok first of all what the fuck
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
