do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize