May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
