Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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