I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
