so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I will be naked everywhere
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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