I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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