I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize