if you like me you must not know who I am
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You're a waste of cheezeits
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
this hospital has no fireball
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
