Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
