connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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