He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
