Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
