My first STD was from a foam party
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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