My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
