I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
