Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
