mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
