Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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