Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
