A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
