i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
