I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
is it fun? or sober?
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