Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
