i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
is wine microwaveable?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
