I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
