I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
