It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
