FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
