Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize