just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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