It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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