ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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