so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
