she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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