I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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