You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
