She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
