Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
